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Current Terror Level:
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saddam Hussein is dead

Brian, you're scaring me. Just three months deep into the pool and we've notched nine celebrity fatalities. STOP!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Just watch out for tuna fishermen

Dolphin Olympics is a fun diversion. Nail a high score by performing back flips and corkscrews simultaneously; just make sure that when you jump out of the water, you return at a proper angle so as to earn a "nice entry" bonus and speed up your dolphin's swimming rate. Also, eat seagulls for extra points.

Yes, I realize that I make little to no sense. Now go play! (via Waxy)

Gerald Ford dies

Enough already! (more coverage via Waxy)

Tuesday, December 26, 2006
James Brown is no more

Noel might have picked up a point but he remains in fourth place. People, we've had seven different matches so far among only eleven entries over three months. This disturbs me to no end.

Friday, December 22, 2006
I am disgusted

Shirako = cod milt = fish ejaculate = gross.

Thursday, December 21, 2006
The Obscure Store and Reading Room is the cat's pajamas

You know, nearly half of the things I tell you about are ripped directly from the Obscure Store and Reading Room, possibly the best wacky news site in the history of the Web. It's been around since the late 90's and editor Jim Romenesko has kept it an intriguing read for all those years, even if he has trouble selling his condo.

Italian villagers to be roasted like ants by giant sun mirror

Today is the day of the year with the fewest minutes of daylight, so take a few minutes to sympathize with the residents of Viganella who spent $131,260 to construct a giant mirror to reflect the sun's rays.

Monday, December 18, 2006
Yabba Dabba Dead

Legendary animator Joseph Barbera has passed on at age 95 so Big Daddy Grenks will pick up some points in the pool but remain in third place.

Saturday, December 16, 2006
Least resourceful burglar in the history of forever

Now with sound!

Friday, December 15, 2006
Student contaminates salad dressing with body fluids

Gross! Who would do such a thing?

Thursday, December 14, 2006
Miserable Old Santa Coot

More proof that Santa gets no respekt from ad wizards in aught-six:

Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Santa Claus = Jerk

Hey, what's up with Santa being portrayed as a total loser in television commercials nowadays? I've seen him stuck in a chimney in a GEICO ad, yelling at mall shoppers in a Verizon Wireless ad, and just today, PULLED OVER FOR DRUNK DRIVING HIS SLEIGH WITHOUT PROPER IDENTIFICATION (I don't remember what was being advertised). It's as if advertisers are telling us "Haha, Santa's a real asshole...look at how ironic we are!"

Well screw that. I may not believe in Santa Claus, but at least leave the poor old coot some self-respect. Like in this relic:

Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Lobster Stun Gun

Allegedly, it is less cruel to murder a lobster by electrocution than it is by boiling it alive. News to me.

Monday, December 11, 2006
You are not going to believe your collective eyeballs

I finally got around to compiling the entries for the Second Actual Death Pool of Morbidity. In less than three months of competition, FIVE WHOLE CELEBRITIES have died, and Brian S. leads with 2 fatalities and 17 huge points.

Unfortunately, only eleven people entered this year. So to everyone who didn't enter, go screw!

Sunday, December 10, 2006
Car Crashing Blog

There was a two-fer today over at my Car Crashing Into Buildings blog. Have you subscribed to it on your RSS reader yet? No? Pfft.

Thursday, December 07, 2006
Awful Things Zach Braff Is (Probably) Responsible For

ONLY THREE?!? (via

Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Santa Claus loses his sh*t


Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Santa Claus is a creepy child molester

SCARED OF SANTA GALLERY: Tis the season to be scared witless

Sorry I missed a few days. I was sick.

Friday, December 01, 2006
Steve McNair can fly

According to the NFL Week 13 Preview at, Steve McNair saved the day for Vince Young:
FOX's own Jay Glazer reported last week that Vince Young almost didn't make it to Philadelphia to upset the Eagles two Sundays ago. Apparently, Young got stuck driving behind a funeral procession. The rook called coach Jeff Fisher, who said that the team plane would wait five to ten more minutes. After 15 minutes, the Titans took off without Young. Young was furious, but he contacted Steve McNair, who flew Young to Philadelphia in his private jet.
Too bad McNair couldn't save Eagles rookie Broderick Bunkley.