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Current Terror Level:

Byron Nelson has passed on and now I have to use my alternate celebrity for Deathpool Aught-Six. RIP, Lord Byron.
posted by Rob I at 4:35:00 PM

Are you interested in participating in the Second Actual Iracane.com Deathpool? All you have to do is email me a list of 10 celebrities you believe will kick the bucket within the next couple years. Here are the rules:

• Entries must be submitted by September 30th, 2006 at 11:59 PM
• Participants must submit a list of 10 celebrities, in order from #1 to #10, plus one alternate celebrity
• As of 12:01 AM on October 1st, 2008, whomever has the most dead celebrities will win the grand prize
• In case of a tie, points will be awarded in the following manner: 10 points if your #1 celebrity dies, 9 points for #2, etc.
• Points will still only be used in case of a tie (sorry, Big T)
• In the event that one of your submitted celebrities dies before the contest starts on September 30th, your alternate celebrity will be used as your #10 celebrity
• In the event that two of your submitted celebrities die before the contest starts on September 30th, you are Satan and I don't want you part of this
• I reserve the right to disqualify any person listed on your entry for not being famous enough (i.e. that kid down the street who doesn't wear a helmet when he rides his Big Wheel)
• Yet again, assassinating your celebrity is not allowed and punishable by up to three years of probation

Good luck, you morbid freaks!
posted by Rob I at 9:59:00 PM

McDonald's to offer breakfast items all day long? It could happen soon.
posted by Rob I at 1:07:00 PM

Two years ago, we started a creepy little contest known as the First Actual Iracane.com Deathpool, and I am proud to announce that Vince A. of Charlottesville, VA has won! Vince tied with Tom N. with 5 deaths but by virtue of the tiebreaker, Vince's 37 points trumps Tom's 28. Some of his notable scores include sports figures such as Johnny Oates, Hank Stram, and his most unique and best pick of all, Earl "Fatha" Woods. Kudos! Also notable: all of Vince's top four punched their eternal ticket in the past 24 months. Vince, you truly are the Angel of Death!

The title of "Angel of Mercy", however, must go to Bob who managed to inadvertantly choose ten celebrities who kept on truckin' through the entire contest, thus earning 0 deaths and 0 points. Bob chose almost all ex-presidents and ex-first ladies. It's a good thing none of them perished in the past two years, or else the Secret Service might be on his tail.

There were 16 entries; the average entry had 2.625 deaths and 17.25 points. Overall, fifteen different celebs perished for points, the first being Rodney Dangerfield and the latest being the game-winner, Earl Woods.

In related news, get your lists ready for the Second Actual Iracane.com Deathpool. I'll be accepting entries starting Monday! (Same rules as last time will apply)

posted by Rob I at 9:18:00 PM

Vince like totally won and stuff.
posted by Rob I at 10:30:00 PM

Guess what ends on Friday?
posted by Rob I at 7:41:00 AM

Did you know that Steve Young is no longer on ESPN's Sunday football preview show, NFL Gameday? Yeah, it's true...our little parody is no longer accurate. Michael Irvin is still on the show, however...Tom Jackson actually asked Mike if he was retarded this past Sunday. So here's our results from Week One:

• Miami at Pittsburgh: Rob - Pittsburgh, Derik - Miami
• Cincinnati at Kansas City: Both take Kansas City
• Dallas at Jacksonville: Rob - Jacksonville, Derik - Dallas
• Indianapolis at N.Y. Giants: Rob - NY Giants, Derik - Indianapolis
• Minnesota at Washington: Both take Washington

Maybe I shouldn't have taken all five home teams. According to the Iracane.com statistician (Derik), eleven of sixteen road teams won. No matter, I'm ahead 2 to 1 so far.
posted by Rob I at 7:46:00 AM

posted by Rob I at 12:24:00 PM

Now I've seen everything!

Rodriguez owned a take-out restaurant, Chickpeas, in Charlottesville, but he wanted a sit-down establishment in a less expensive locale. "Charlottesville is crowded. Too many restaurants," he said. "They want way too much for rent." Along with adding a sit-down eatery, the new Chickpeas will add exotic aromas to downtown. Fresh baked sub rolls, humus, falafel and gourmet pizzas are planned for the Sept. 17th opening menu.

Downtown Waynesboro serves up business (via cvillenews.com)
posted by Rob I at 2:53:00 PM

It's been a long offseason and I can tell how anxious you were for the triumphant return of CELEBRITY NFL PICKS FEATURING STEVE YOUNG (Rob) AND MIKE IRVIN (Derik)! Yeah, I got my ass handed to me last year, but with a full slate of 17 weeks, my alter ego Steve Young and I fully expect to dominate our chocolate brethren in the aught-six. Let's get right to it:

• Miami at Pittsburgh (Thu 8PM): Rob - Pittsburgh, Derik - Miami
• Cincinnati at Kansas City (Sun 1PM): Both take Kansas City
• Dallas at Jacksonville (Sun 4PM): Rob - Jacksonville, Derik - Dallas
• Indianapolis at N.Y. Giants (Sun 8PM): Rob - NY Giants, Derik - Indianapolis
• Minnesota at Washington (Mon 7PM): Both take Washington

I chose all five home teams, Derik cannot pick against Dallas, and I've put a ton of faith in Charlie Batch. Enjoy the game tonight, and please make your picks in the comments.
posted by Rob I at 11:47:00 AM

Here's a link to HopStop, an excellent resource for subway directions in NYC and other major cities, just in case Big Daddy ever needs to go to Brooklyn.
posted by Rob I at 8:34:00 AM

Edward Norton and Jessica Biel are the new hottness in The Illusionist. Paul Giamatti excels (as usual) in a supporting role. The Illusionist is the kind of fairy tale that M. Night Shyamalan wishes he could tell...and it's the kind of movie that proves you're not as smart as you think you are. Go see it now before some jerk like me spoils the ending for you. Three stars.
posted by Rob I at 11:44:00 AM

Introducing The Pizza Fork, or, as I like to call it, The "How To Slit Your Own Throat Open While Eating Something You Don't Need A Utensil For" Device. According to the packaging of what is commerically sold as "Nyfork":

The act of retrieving, positioning and cutting with a standard knife takes an adult human an average of 2.2 seconds. That can add up to an entire week over a normal lifetime

I would gladly give up that one extra week of life to not look like a jackass with that thing in my hand.
posted by Rob I at 2:05:00 PM

KITT vs KARR showdown (via Waxy)
posted by Rob I at 1:48:00 PM