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Friday, March 31, 2006
MLB 2006 Predictions

Go Yankees!And now, as I am wont to do, I will make my predictions for the 2006 Major League Baseball season, which begins this Sunday: Phillies over Indians in 6.

Off to Utah, see you on Wednesday!

11:54PM: Or not...flight was cancelled...

The More You Know ©

Dwight says: "Know your bears."

Ryan says: "Know your beers."

Jim says: "Know your beans."

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Psycho tot captured in glass cage

I can't seem to get the claw around his huge spongy head!A Minnesota toddler was lured into a glass cage filled with stuffed animals where he was later tranquilized by police. Three-year-old Devin Haskin was later released to his mother but may face charges for being "a few fries short of a Happy Meal".

Friday, March 24, 2006
Tournament Update

Do I win a box of wine?The first sign of the coming Rapture: Big Daddy in first place of the NCAA Pick'em. With all Final Four teams still alive (Memphis, UConn, Florida & Louisiana State). Just kidding, BDG. You rock! And I guess Derik will have to take over "tournament updates" from now on since I'm not allowed to speak of college basketball ever again.

Thursday, March 23, 2006
Car Crashing Blog - Spam?!?

Woman Jumps Through Window After Car Crashes Into Living RoomWell the good computers at Blogger have identified my Car Crashing blog as a possible 'spam blog'.
The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site.
Oh really, fool? I've submitted the so-called splog for human review. I wonder if it will pass the test.

Euro-nerds claim Einstein off by a million trillion

I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling physicists!A consortium of European physicists have measured the gravitational equivalent of a magnetic field for the first time in a laboratory and found that Einstein was off by a factor of a million trillion with his so-called Theory of Relativity.
We ran more than 250 experiments, improved the facility over 3 years and discussed the validity of the results for 8 months before making this announcement. Now we are confident about the measurement," says (Martin) Tajmar, who performed the experiments and hopes that other physicists will conduct their own versions of the experiment in order to verify the findings and rule out a facility induced effect.
Man, it takes a LOT of balls to call out the effing KING of physics like that. BTW, I took two years of high school physics and two semesters of college physics and I have no idea what's going on. Big Daddy, explanation please? (link via

Second chance!

Billy Packer, national spokesman for Crazy Old Coots of AmericaAfter stinking up the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament pool, I've made a small wager with Derik to earn back my reputation. If I can correctly pick the winners of the final 15 games of the tournament then I will regain my ability to speak intelligently about college basketball. Here goes:
  • Thursday: Duke, Memphis, Texas, UCLA
  • Friday: Villanova, George Mason, Georgetown, UConn
  • Saturday: Duke, UCLA
  • Sunday: Villanova, UConn
  • Semifinals: Duke, UConn
  • Finals: Duke
Of course, if LSU beats Duke in the first game tonight, this has all been for naught and I will never speak of college basketball again.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Plane crashes into terminal

I have no idea where this happened or when this happened or why this happened, but it shore is hilarious! Whoopsie-doodle!

Check out a view from inside, too.

Anybody have any info on this 'accident'?

Monday, March 20, 2006
Tournament Pick'em Update - Weekend One Wrap-up

After the first weekend of hot NCAA action, a familiar name sits at the bottom of the standings in the Sixth Annual...mine. Thirteenth place out of thirteen. Yeah, I saw more games this year than any other year since college (the first stint) but I either learned nothing or applied my knowledge incorrectly. I'm gonna go with "I learned nothing". That's okay because I sure enjoyed myself, and I enjoyed the first 48 games of the tournament immensely, especially the four I saw at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia. Thanks, Michelle (9th place) and Carl (12th place)!

I don't know who this "Shot in the Dark" entry belongs to, but whoever you are, congratulations on finishing the opening weekend in first place. All of your Final Four picks are alive and of luck with your UConn over Gonzaga prediction in the championship game.

Shame on all of you who picked Kansas to win even one game, let alone make the Final Four. The only smart move I made in my entire bracket was picking Bradley to beat the perennially underachieving Jayhawks. Still, Bradley effed me in the end because they beat Pittsburgh, the team I had losing to Villanova in the national championship game. Oopsies.

Friday, March 17, 2006
Albany madness

Albany madness
Originally uploaded by iracane.

The Madness: Day 2

So Robbie Rob is in Philly today for the second day of the tournament...I'm green with envy, but since it's St. Patrick's Day I guess that's okay...or it's a really bad joke...anyhoo...SDST ruined my top upset of the day...but Bama rolled. The Big East representatives were sloppy and called into question the claim that it is the best conference in college basketball. The SEC did it's thang with Florida, Tennessee and LSU joining Alabama in the second round. BC played in the game of the day, and the Zags showed why they don't deserve or get any respect. Today's upset picks, NC State takes out California in the 7/10 game and with a lot less confidence, Southern Illinois(11) takes out another Big Least team in West Virginia(6). Enjoy the games and your consumption today!

Thursday, March 16, 2006
Carl enjoys a green beer

Carl enjoys a green beer
Originally uploaded by iracane.

Day 1 Upset Predictions

So this year is a very top heavy tournament, upsets could be few and far between, but there are always a few, statistically, there are on average 8 upsets in the first round, that includes the 8/9 game which really shouldn't be considered an upset, but anyhoo...for Thursday, March 16th, I see San Diego St. beating Indiana, why...I'm biased against Indiana, plain and second upset pick would be Bama over Marquette, again you may ask why? Just because of the odds that not all 8 Big East teams will advance to the second round...someone's gotta drop a game...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Twenty-four hours and counting...

You've got just one day left to enter the Sixth Annual NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Need help making picks? Here's my quick preview of each region:
  • Washington DC: I've said it before and I'll say it again, UConn is extremely talented but extremely careless. Look for Illinois to advance in an upset.
  • Atlanta: I've said it before and I'll say it again, Duke is extremely talented but extremely white. Look for LSU to advance in an upset.
  • Minneapolis: I've said it before and I'll say it again, Villanova is extremely talented but extremely short. Look for Villanova to advance anyways.
  • Oakland: Why does everyone hate Memphis? You know, in non-conference games this season, they beat UCLA, Wisc-Milwaukee, Alabama, Cincinnati, Gonzaga and Tennessee and lost to Duke by just three. So you can take your Oral Robertses and your Arkansases and stick 'em. Still, Pittsburgh will beat them in an upset.
In my final four, I like Villanova avenging an earlier loss to Pittsburgh by a final score of 78-77.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006
No whammies, no whammies, no whammies....CRASH!

I'm sorry...I really am...but I had to make that joke. Peter Tomarken, host of popular eighties game show Press Your Luck, died when his plane crashed into the Santa Monica Bay early Monday morning.
The plane was on its way to San Diego to ferry a medical patient to the UCLA Medical Center, said Doug Griffith, a spokesman for Angel Flight West, a nonprofit which provides free air transportation for needy patients.
I'm going to hell. It's official. Stamp my passport now, Satan.

Monday, March 13, 2006
Sixth Annual NCAA Tournament Pick'em

I hope you have a Yahoo! ID because if you don't, you'll have to get one STAT. How else would you enter the Sixth Annual NCAA Tournament Pick'em?
In order to join the group, just go to the game front page and click on the "Sign Up" button to create a team. After completing registration, or if you already have a team, click the "Create or Join Group" button and follow the path to join an existing private group. Then, when prompted, enter the following information...

Group ID#: 43426
Password: hoops

Thank you, auto-generated invitation text!

Sunday, March 12, 2006
Power Eight - Final Poll

Okey dokey pokey. Now that every conference tournament is completed and just before my soul brotha Greg Gumbel gets on the teevee and tells us who plays who for the NCAA tournament, Derik and I will entertain you with our predictions for the top seeds:
  • Rob's One Seeds: Duke, UConn. Villanova, Memphis
  • Derik's One Seeds: Duke, UConn, Villanova, Memphis
  • Rob's Two Seeds: Texas, Ohio State, Florida, Pittsburgh
  • Derik's Two Seeds: Ohio State, Gonzaga, UCLA, Texas
I had trouble picking between Pitt, BC, and UCLA for the final two seed but I'm sticking with Pitt because they shore know how to poke a feller's eye out. Derik thinks that Gonzaga might not deserve their two seed but should get it anyway because of their fancy moustaches.
Get ready for the Sixth Annual NCAA Tournament Pick'em...details to follow!!!

Friday, March 10, 2006
The New Deliciousness: The Donut Burger

What does a Illinois minor league baseball team get when it introduces a cheeseburger nestled between two Original Glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts? It gets the greatest concession in the history of human existence. Go Grizzlies!

Thursday, March 09, 2006
Derik's ACC Tournament Previews

Derik previews the ACC tournament today...
  1. Duke: Seriously, I want to kick JJ Redick in the nuts…Lee Melchionni too…while I’m at it Dick Vitale as well…
  2. North Carolina: Nothing bad to say here, love Roy Williams, love Tyler Hansbrough, love that they beat Duke in Cameron on Senior Night.
  3. Boston College: The upset pick of the tournament…also the place I fell asleep in a garbage can after a night of “merriment.”
  4. NC State: Did Julius Hodge actually graduate?!?!
  5. Florida St: Where are the FSU Football cowgirls?!?!
  6. Maryland: "Proved" their dominance by sweeping Virginia and going 1-6 against the top 25, while also achieving impressive wins against a field including Chaminade, Nicholls St., American, VMI and Western Carolina…if this is a bubble team, then my left testicle is the leading candidate for Massachusetts govenor.
  7. Virginia: Let’s just look forward to the new basketball arena.
  8. Miami: You would think this place would be full of hot Latinas, but surprisingly, it’s just a lot of white and black people…
  9. Clemson: I’d rather be a Gamecock than a Tiger…
  10. Virginia Tech: This team had the chance to expose the Blue Devils for the frauds they are back in December, and they messed that up...typical Tech.
  11. Georgia Tech: 2-12 in their last 14 games, don’t let the record fool you, this is the worst team in the ACC.
  12. Wake Forest: Can someone please tell me how this place is called Wake Forest, what kind of name is Wake Forest for a university?!!?
Final Game: UNC wins the rubber game over Duke. UPDATE: Be sure to check out Vince's predictions in the comments section.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Derik's Little Big East Tournament Previews

A short preview of the 12 teams in the Big East tournament:
  1. UConn: Gets a #1 seed regardless of how they finish a Gay bunch indeed.
  2. Villanova: Say what you want about forward Curtis Sumpter's season-long injury hurting this team, but with 4 of the best guards in the Big East in the starting lineup, who needs him?
  3. West Virginia: Slumped in Mid February, must have missed the good luvin of their cousins on the road.
  4. Pittsburgh: Only one miracle in Pittsburgh this year, the Panthers Bus goes flat.
  5. Georgetown: Aren’t they supposed to have a 7ft player from deepest, darkest Uganda or something?
  6. Marquette: Clown college…
  7. Seton Hall: Picked to finish 15th out of 16 teams, they stink a lot less than expected.
  8. Cincinnati: No more Huggy Bear, no more DUIs…no more success…
  9. Syracuse: I almost want to kick Gerry McNamara in the nuts as much I as I want to kick JJ Redick in the nuts.
  10. Rutgers: Maybe if any good NJ basketball players stayed in state, they'd have a chance one of these years.
  11. Louisville: No love from Ashley Judd, no love from me…
  12. Notre Dame: Ten Big East losses by a total of 35 points. Is that bad luck or do they finish worse than a 13 year old boy losing his virginity?
Final game: No surprises here: UConn vs. Nova...but I think Nova wins it all...
Upsets: Notre Dame and Louisville both pull first round upsets...

Federal court filing seeks to stub out smoking ban

A group of restauranteurs in New Jersey is filing a lawsuit in U.S. District Court claiming that the new smoking ban, set to take effect April 15th, "unfairly discriminates against restaurants, bars and bowling alleys in favor of casinos, ...a violation of the equal protection clause". Casinos are exempt from the ban because their lobbyists have deeper pockets. The smoking ban is meant to curb the negative effects of smoking on non-smoking employees in bars and restaurants, but some people don't see it that way.
"Eleanor Travia, owner of Illusions, a go-go bar in Florence, said the state will regret the smoking ban because customers and tax revenue will travel 'across the bridge' to Pennsylvania, which will soon have slots betting parlors. 'I'm Rosa Parks,' Travia said. 'I'm telling the state I'm not going to the back of the bus behind casinos. If they're exempt, so am I.'
Oh really? Rosa Parks? Did Rosa Parks give anyone cancer?

Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Furry Lobster...yum!

A team of divers discovered a brand new genus of furry lobster a mile and a half deep in the South Pacific last year.
The new crustacean is described in the journal of the National Museum of Natural History in Paris. The animal is white and 5.9 inches long, about the size of a salad plate.
A salad plate, eh? How much longer until FurryLobsterFest begins at Red Lobster?

Travolta to play Edna Turnblad


Monday, March 06, 2006
Oscars Pool Final Scoresheet

Congratulations to Will L. of Deadspin for nailing 17 out of a possible 20 categories in the Oscar Pool, besting Darren by one. The top two finishers had the exact same picks save for Darren's choice of Star Wars for best makeup. Well, duh! For his big win, Will and Deadspin win a permanent spot in the ol' links column on this website. Congratulations to Lindsay for bringing up the rear with a measly 3 correct choices. Peep the full results here.

Power Eight - Week Eight



  1. Duke
  2. UConn
  3. Villanova
  4. Texas
  5. Ohio State
  6. LSU
  7. North Carolina
  8. Memphis
  1. UConn
  2. Villanova
  3. Duke
  4. North Carolina
  5. Memphis
  6. Texas
  7. Ohio State
  8. G. Washington
Dropped: NoneDropped: Pittsburgh

Sunday, March 05, 2006
Oscar Pool - Early Returns

And the Oscar for Most Accessible Best Picture Nominee goes to....Crash!
  1. Will L - 17
  2. Darren - 16
  3. Kerri - 14
  4. Ellen - 13
  5. Rob - 11
More accurate fact-checking to come tomorrow...

Oscar Pool update

The 4th Annual Oscar Pool is officially closed! Twenty-eight of you entered and 17 of you picked "Brokeback Mountain" to win Best Picture. The other favorites:
  • Best Director: Ang Lee (19)
  • Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman (14)
  • Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon (16)
  • Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney (12)
  • Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz (10)
  • Best Original Screenplay: Crash (13)
  • Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain (15)
Good luck to all the entrants! Results late tonight.

Friday, March 03, 2006
Arch Madness!

Everybody's favorite little conference that could, the Missouri Valley Conference, plays the quarterfinal round of their conference tournament today at the Savvis Center in St. Louis (hence the name "Arch" Madness). Follow the scores here. All four games have NCAA implications, especially the matchup between Missouri State (formerly SW Missouri State) and Northern Iowa (they beat regular Iowa!). The winner advances to the semis; the loser likely to the NIT.