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Current Terror Level:
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Animal carcasses snarl traffic in Wisconsin

A highway in Wisconsin Rapids, WI was blocked off Monday after a truck dumped animal parts on the road. (WARNING: graphic image!)
Westbound traffic on the expressway was forced to use the left turn lane to get around the mess, Wesener said. He was pleased that drivers slowed down and were courteous to each other as they merged into one lane during peak traffic time.
I bet some of the courteous drivers pulled over to the side of the road to 'collect' some 'free groceries'.


Sunday, January 29, 2006
Power Eight - Week Three

Not many changes in this week's Power Eight. West Virginia drops out of my list for a surprise loss to in-state rival Marshall while Derik drops Michigan State from his list for a loss to in-state rival Michigan. Same eight teams; different order:

Rob

Derik

  1. Duke
  2. Memphis
  3. Villanova
  4. Illinois
  5. UConn
  6. Texas
  7. Pittsburgh
  8. Florida
  1. UConn
  2. Memphis
  3. Duke
  4. Villanova
  5. Texas
  6. Illinois
  7. Pittsburgh
  8. Florida


Monday, January 23, 2006
Just Give Me the Damn Baguette!

Bread-hungry Californians may soon find themselves dining at Panera franchise cafes owned by outspoken and outstanding NFL wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson, who has inked a deal with the company to open 12 bakery-cafes in the coming years.
First Picks is headed by NFL star and businessman Keyshawn Johnson, who brings considerable experience as a franchise operator to his latest endeavor with Panera Bread. Johnson has owned and operated the fine dining restaurants Reign in Beverly Hills, CA and Profusion in Tampa, FL, and currently operates a multi-unit entity of Cold Stone Creamery stores in Dallas, TX.
That's two of my favorite places! Keyshawn has good business sense. Panera and Cold Stone both offer delicious treats and make tons of cash. Keyshawn may have made a mistake by joining the Dallas Cowboys but at least he didn't buy any Krispy Kreme franchises.


Sunday, January 22, 2006
Power Eight - Week Two

There are no more undefeated teams in the country and the lists are rightly shuffled. Derik moves UConn to the top spot and I introduce them into the bottom of my list. Duke is still number one after fighting hard in a road loss to a tough Georgetown squadron; Derik dropped them to fourth:

Rob

Derik

  1. Duke
  2. Texas
  3. Memphis
  4. Villanova
  5. Florida
  6. Illinois
  7. UConn
  8. West Virginia
  1. UConn
  2. Memphis
  3. Texas
  4. Duke
  5. Villanova
  6. Florida
  7. Michigan State
  8. Illinois


Saturday, January 21, 2006
Celebrity NFL Picks - Conference Championships

Just in case you're keeping score at home, Derik is picking Pittsburgh and Seattle to win while I am going with both road teams Pittsburgh and Carolina. It's been a wonderful NFL season and I can't believe that it's all ending tomorrow! Conference Championship Sunday is always the day that the highest quality football is played; there are no super-sized distractions to the game, no two-week period of hype building up to a normally sub-par exhibition of one conference dominating another. Chances are you're going to see at least one good, close game. Super Bowl Sunday is more bacchanalian ritual than gridiron gladiator contest. Although three of the last four Super Bowl games have been close right down to the end, New England won all three so they don't count. Long live Conference Championship Sunday!


Evening Quickie - Car Crashes into KFC

Dateline: Winter Garden, Florida. KFC Restaurant Evacuated After SUV Crashes Through Wall


Sunday, January 15, 2006
Power Eight - Week One

New weekly feature here at the ol' website: Derik and Rob will rank the top eight Division I men's college basketball teams in the country. No computers, no AP writers, no coaches, no rhyme, no reason...just our pure, unadulterated biases. Enough chit-chat, let's get to the rankings!

Rob

Derik

  1. Duke
  2. Texas
  3. Florida
  4. Illinois
  5. Villanova
  6. Memphis
  7. Pittsburgh
  8. NC State
  1. Duke
  2. Florida
  3. UConn
  4. Memphis
  5. Texas
  6. Illinois
  7. Villanova
  8. Pittsburgh


Saturday, January 14, 2006
Car crashes into Chinese buffet

Thanks to 52-year-old Dorothy Lovato and her little "blacking-out-while-driving" incident, you can now find a 2001 Honda Accord between the shrimp dumplings and the pork fried rice at the China Super Buffet in Los Lunas, CA. Asked for a comment after plowing through the Chinese restaurant, Lovato said, "I feel okay now but I'll probably want to crash into another one in a hour."


Friday, January 13, 2006
Celebrity NFL Picks - Divisional Playoffs

Derik is leading me by 6 games with only 7 games left to be played this year and therefore only needs to pick two games the same to clinch the season title. Let's see how it wrings out:
  • Washington at Seattle (Sat 5PM): Both pick Seattle
  • New England at Denver (Sat 8PM): Both pick New England
  • Pittsburgh at Indianapolis (Sun 1PM): Both pick Indianapolis
  • Carolina at Chicago (Sun 4PM): Rob - Chicago; Derik - Carolina
Oh...well...congratulations, I guess. I stink.


Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Van full of puppies crashes into diner

An 84-year-old Kentucky man crashed his van into a local diner Monday afternoon. Estill Trail, 84, parks his old retired ass outside the diner on a daily basis and sells wooden handles and puppies. His reason for the crash? The old "my foot slipped off the brake pedal onto the gas" excuse. Crazy old coot. No injuries were reported, but one of the puppies in the back of the van landed on the dashboard after the van plowed into the building.
(Mr. Trail) said he should've paid more attention to a dream he had Sunday night, where he was involved in an accident and the police were called.
Uhhhh...yeah, crazy old man. Maybe you should start listening to the voices in your head. THAT'LL DEFINITELY HELP!


Dick Codey is my hero

Come April 15th, New Jerseyans will finally be able to breathe in bars thanks to the 64-12 Assembly vote in favor of the smoking ban, a bill that will be the final gold star on the uniform of departing Governor Richard Codey. Exempt from the ban are bars that generate at least 15% income from tobacco sales and, since protecting gambling revenue is more important than protecting workers' health, casinos. From the New York Times:
Assemblyman Joseph Cryan, a Democrat who represents Union County and whose family owns Cryan's Pub in South Orange, was one of those leading an effort to weaken the bill's chances by making it stronger. He had said he was considering offering an amendment that would have subjected casinos to the smoking ban, but it never materialized on Monday when the ban was presented for a vote in the Assembly.
Asshole. Once the ban goes into effect, expect heart attacks to go down and noise complaints in some neighborhoods to go up as smokers will be forced to go outside to partake.

Bonus legislation: the year-long moratorium on the ol' death penalty.



Monday, January 09, 2006
Lindsay Lohan Calendar


Lindsay Lohan Calendar
Originally uploaded by iracane.
After three years of "Sopranos" calendars, I've 'graduated' to a Lindsay Lohan calendar for 2006. So sue me. She's a coked out anorexic and I love her. You can take the girl out of Long Island, but you can't take the Long Island out of the girl.


Celebrity NFL Picks - Wild Card Playoffs recap

We all know that the regular season weeks are simply a warm-up for the real contests that are the playoff weeks. And of course, that is when the true prognosticator comes out to shine. Rob wins his first week, 3 games to 2.
  • Washington at Tampa: Both pick Washington
  • Jacksonville at New England: Both pick New England
  • Carolina at NY Giants: Rob - Carolina, Derik - NY Giants
  • Pittsburgh at Cincinnati: Both pick Cincinnati
Alas, I still trail in the overall contest 31 to 25 and, unfortunately, my precious Giants are done for the year. But hope remains: with seven playoff games remaining, I can still make up the difference as long as Derik goes on an unprecendented streak of shitty picks.


Friday, January 06, 2006
Celebrity NFL Picks - Wild Card Playoffs

I may have never beaten Derik during the regular season and I may still trail him 29 to 22 but it's the playoffs and we've both qualified! Huzzah!
  • Washington at Tampa (Sat 5PM): Both pick Washington
  • Jacksonville at New England (Sat 8PM): Both pick New England
  • Carolina at NY Giants (Sun 1PM): Rob - Carolina, Derik - NY Giants
  • Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (Sun 4PM): Both pick Cincinnati
Well...there's only one game with different picks and I've gone and picked against my Giants for the first time...well...ever.


Thursday, January 05, 2006
Celebrity NFL Picks - Week 17 Recap

So I finally have a successful weekend of picking NFL contests and I end up tying Derik because we picked the exact same teams to win. Go figure...
  • NY Giants at Oakland: Both pick NY Giants
  • Carolina at Atlanta: Both pick Carolina
  • Cincinnati at Kansas City: Both pick Kansas City
  • Houston at San Francisco: Both pick Houston
  • Washington at Philadelphia: Both pick Washington
Playoff picks coming tomorrow!


Sunday, January 01, 2006
Patrick Cranshaw dead at 86

Well, yes but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes.


Noel and Little Steven


Noel and Little Steven
Originally uploaded by iracane.