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Current Terror Level:
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Car crashes through second floor of home

I have no idea how this happened. (Thanks, Cecil!)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
First ever Caption-That-Wacky-News-Photo contest

Ready...set...caption away!

Monday, April 25, 2005
Marsha Marsha Marshmallow

Note to self: buy this. Over.

Krispy Kreme to restate earnings for the past four years

Uh-oh. That can't be good for business.

Sale of beer rising sharply at Fenway Park

More beer at Fenway? Yeah, that's not dangerous or anything.

Thursday, April 21, 2005
End of Ford Taurus closes era

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (my first three cars were Tauri)


The funniest Google News search EVAR.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Viva il Papa!

New Pope! Ding ding ding ding ding! Congratulations to Cardinal John Ratzenberger, who will assume the name Pope Cliff Claven the First.

Saturday, April 16, 2005
Onion volcano!

Onion volcano!



The New New Yankee Stadium

Big Stein and the boys are ready to pony up $800 mil to build a new Yankee Stadium. This is the best news I've heard in DAYS! The old place (historic as it may be) is a dump. It's a shame the Yanks are in last place, but we need a new stadium to be able to compete with the rest of th...oh wait...nevermind.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Pop Tart Preggers?

Our New Hampshire gossip correspondent tells me that MTV just confirmed that Britney Spears is with child. More breaking news to come...maybe...

UPDATE: it's true!

Sunday, April 10, 2005
Eff the underdog

I like rooting for the champion over the contender...I prefer a good dynasty instead of a scrappy underdog. That's why I like the Yankees and Microsoft and Tiger Woods. His birdie chip at 16 today made me so happy to know it.

Thursday, April 07, 2005
Fend Off Dementia with Sex, Crosswords and a Run

Well, two outta three ain't bad.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Terry Francona rushed to hospital

Damn! Now the Red Sox have an advantage today...they've gotten rid of the weak link.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Who says April don't matter?


Monday, April 04, 2005
UNC wins

And Matt wins. Congrats!