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Current Terror Level:
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Oscars update

With eight categories remaining to be awarded, Brian B. is in the lead for the Oscar Pick 'Em with a stunning fourteen of sixteen correct guesses. Stunning!

Oscar Picks

We've got 28 entries so far in the Oscar Pick 'Em. Y'all can still enter until 6PM. I won't post the results until tomorrow AM. I doubt I'll even watch the Oscars tonight.

Monday, February 23, 2004
The grocery list collection

This guy in St. Louis collects abandoned grocery lists. His main finding? People cannot spell. Brilliant! Check out the top 10.

Sunday, February 22, 2004
Nonagenarian backs car into McDonald's Playland

I wish there was a picture that accompanied this article in which a 92-year-old Utah woman crashes her car into the ball pit in the play area of a Provo McDonald's. Fie!

Friday, February 20, 2004
Woman smashes up plumbing supply store

A Michigan woman done got all liquored up and hit a telephone pole, thus completely destroying a plumbing supply store showroom. You can barely see her truck in the accompanying picture. Awesome!

Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Second Annual Oscar® Pick 'em!

This year, we're testing you on all 24 categories for the Annual Oscar® Pick 'em. (plus a sporty tiebreaker to piss you all off) The same rules apply here as they did for the Super Bowl Pick 'em: Winner gets an actual prize! (yet to be determined) Enter as many times as you like; your last entry will be the one that counts. Contest ends at 6PM Sunday, February 29th. And remember: results are not final until I'm lucid.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Peter Hertzmann, on the addition of salt during cooking. How can something like salt be so simple yet so complex and mystifying?

Fairweather fans

Sure, Seton Hall lost last night to a very dirty Boston College team, but I chide all the fans who left the game early. The Pirates were down by 6 points with 53 seconds left to play, certainly not an easy margin to overcome, but seeing one-third of the crowd leaving did not inspire the team to stage a comeback. I hope that each and every fan who left stays at home for the rest of the season and thinks about what they've done. For shame.

Monday, February 16, 2004

My cousin Chrissie turned sixteen yesterday and I spent the whole day harassing her: first at her state track meet in Princeton, then at her house watching gymnastics on TV, and finally at dinner where she enjoyed her soda a little too much. Happy Sweet Sixteen!

Friday, February 13, 2004
Runaway hippo killed by car

My aunt's car got hit by two deer the other night. In a related story, a South Cackalacky woman hit and killed Joel Silver's hippopotamus with her car. She thought it was a rhino. Yes. A fucking rhinoceros in South Cackalacky. (Joel Silver is a Hollywood producer)

Are you a banana?

Warm brownie + banana ice cream + caramel that was bought during a drunken visit to Stop N Shop = pure magic.

That's not what's important

As a presidential candidate in the year 2004, does it really matter if you spent your mid-twenties fighting in Vietnam or protesting the war in Vietnam or coked out of your gourd in Texas? Please. Can we talk about the issues? Abortions for some, miniature American flags for all! And it looks like this Presidential campaign is going to last nine months instead of the usual six. Ugh.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Will we be seeing Big Daddy in this publication?

The Committee on College Life at Harvard University has approved a student-run porno magazine called 'H Bomb' that will feature nekkid Harvard undergrads. Bring us back a copy, Dave.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

-----Original Message----- From: Bob Iracane Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 8:15 AM To: Rob Iracane Subject: Emailing: fonda_kerry.jpg Here's a picture of your boy with Hanoi Jane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why don't you put this picture on

Saturday, February 07, 2004
Post-Super Bowl riot pictures

The public safety people at Northeastern University have posted photos of the post-Super Bowl riots in hopes of identifying the vandals. Nice way to celebrate a Patriots championship. We should just hope that the Red Sox never win the World Series or else the entire country northeast of New York might burn to the ground.

Friday, February 06, 2004
Wedding guest cow wanders into bank looking for MOOlah

If it's my brother's thing to post cars crashing into building stories, then this is my thing - COW STORIES! Especially when they involve a wedding. Imagine if this cow had wandered into a Krispy Kreme!!

Thursday, February 05, 2004
Nonagenarian loses her fast food virginity

Esther Davis of the Springvale Inn retirement community recently had her first McDonald's experience at the age of 99.
She has a good appetite — three meals a day, every day — and had no trouble finishing a hamburger liberally seasoned with ketchup.
Ew. I presume the ketchup was there as a lubricant. Ew.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Did I just see Janet's boob?!?

According to the good people at TiVo Inc, Justin's de-boobing of Janet is the most replayed moment in TiVo history. (thanks, Big Daddy!)

Monday, February 02, 2004
Always demand a recount

After fully processing the pool results (thanks, Vince, and happy birthday!) it looks like I effed up. Carl St. P. is the big winner with 15 correct and the closest final score among the seven entrants to reach that plateau. See the mini-results here.

Sunday, February 01, 2004
Super Bowl Results

Out of 32 entries, four people tied for first place with 15 points in the Third Annual Super Bowl Pick 'Em: Aunt Ros, Brian B., Crazy Carl, and yours truly. However, the tiebreaker goes to Aunt Ros since she picked the closest final score. Congrats! Expect your prize within the soon as I figger it out.(these results are not yet final...i'm too sleepy to be accurate)

Bring It On

Look at that form!

Alex Trebek falls asleep at the wheel

This story would have been a whole bunch funnier if Trebek had crashed his car into the Jeopardy studio and right through the big board.