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Current Terror Level:
Monday, June 30, 2003

Three things I learned this weekend:
  1. Don't stick your hand into a bag with an uncovered razor
  2. Knuckle bandages work better on fingertips than fingertip bandages
  3. Inch-wide white stripes on the tops of my feet caused by lying on the beach with my flip-flops on for three consecutive afternoons are not cool, even when referred to as my "racing stripes".

Monday, June 23, 2003

This morning I experienced something just a little short of Paradise: a new McGriddles Breakfast Sandwich. A magical combination of sausage, eggs and cheese surrounded by two griddle cakes with the taste of maple syrup baked in. Dear LORD! Five hundred and fifty calories, twelve hundred and ninety milligrams of sodium, and a just over a quarter gram of cholesterol. I could hear myself getting fatter, yet it was still tasty.

What is the worst thing you can eat at McDonald's for breakfast? It's the Spanish Omelette Bagel (710, 1520, 275) Gross.

Friday, June 20, 2003

Need any last minute gift ideas? How about a set of five personal homeland security warning level chokers?

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Here's what passes for "news" in Ohio: a freaking dog that empties the dishwasher. At least that's what I inferred from looking at the pictures. Maybe he just stands by the dishwasher and nags.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Let the countdown begin! New Jersey's first Krispy Kreme franchise is set to open Tuesday, July 22nd. The question remains: will I camp out to be the first one in line?

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Summer starts this Saturday...and we're having a big Summer Solstice party down the shore. What sorts of fake malt liquor based beverages should we serve?

Monday, June 16, 2003

When I lived on the 2nd floor of 516 Brandon Avenue in Charlottesville, I would sometimes sit in my bedroom with the windows open and smell cigarette smoke wafting up from down below. As much as I despised the smell, however, I didn't mind smelling it because it always came from this cute girl who lived on the first floor who had stepped out for a smoke. So I'd take that as my cue to go down and chat her up.

Now, I live on the second floor of Rosedale Manor in Madison. Last night when I got home, there was a group of people sitting on the patio beneath my bedroom window enjoying their after-dinner cigars. It was absolutely disgusting. I shut my window immediately after opening it.

Take note, dear future downstairs neighbor: don't smoke unless you're cute.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

I saw a great license plate on a Toyota Prius today: F OPEC. Brilliant!

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

I have nothing interesting to say. I have not had anything interesting to say in over a week now. Does anyone even care? Find your own Krispy Kreme news items. You ingrate!

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Two cars plus two people who shouldn't be behind the wheel plus two liquor stores equals double the car-crashin-fun. In Upstate New York, a 91-year-old woman plowed through Voorheesville Wine and Liquor because "the gas stuck". Yeah...right. In Brooklyn, a flaming van was the culprit. The real tragedy?
...numerous bottles of spirits were damaged.
Thanks for the link, Noel.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

The South Jersey town of Northfield may soon be home to the Garden State's second Krispy Kreme franchise. I ask you, Rocco Fiorentino, president of Freedom Rings L.L.C., owners and operators of Krispy Kreme in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware, when will North Jersey be so lucky? There's a nice available lot right down Main Street in Madison.