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Current Terror Level:
Thursday, February 28, 2002

While I cannot condone the vacuuming of cats, I can condone Flash games based on that concept. I got 2641 points after playing once. Can you do better?

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

It took almost two weeks, but the Nebraska State Patrol Crime Lab has determined that the severed body part found at a Hastings, Nebraska car wash is actually a cow udder, and NOT a severed human penis.

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

I gave up watching sports on TV for February. Not for Lent, mind you. Lent and March Madness coincide, so that's just impossible. February is the only month of the year without football, baseball, or NCAA tournament action. So since the Super Bowl, and until the men's Big East basketball tournament begins, I am not watching any sports on TV, nor am I watching Sportscenter on ESPN, nor am I visiting I have allowed myself to attend Seton Hall games because that's a social event and I allowed myself to watch the ladies figure skating during the Olympics because, frankly, that's not a sport. I only gave in to temptation once, when I saw Apollo Ohno and the Americans blow it during the short track speed skating Saturday night. This forced sacrifice has meant less TV overall for myself these past few weeks, mostly because there aren't many good things to watch besides sporting events. Sure, I always make time to watch the Simpsons, Insomniac, Bernie Mac, and every HBO series, but I refuse to be assaulted by the typical fare that defines primetime broadcast television. What noble and productive things have I done with all my free time? Nothing, really. Just surfing the Internet and catching up on back issues of the New Yorker.

Drunk teen becomes victim of assualt and "battering". Seriously, kids, you don't have to drink to have a good time...even if that good time involves an egg wash and a flour coating.

Monday, February 25, 2002

Finally! An online hieroglyphics translator! Ever wonder what the hieroglyph equivalents are for such English words as Internet, television or Boston creme donut? Well, they don't exist. Try something a little more...well...ancient.

Sunday, February 24, 2002

How many cans of Mountain Dew would it take to kill you?

Friday, February 22, 2002

I don't know if this article about the Olsen twins is entirely appropriate for our family-oriented website, but I guess if it's appropriate for that raunchy tabloid they call the New York Post, then it's appropriate for us.

Wednesday, February 20, 2002

Breaking news out of Charleston: West Virginians are disgustingly obese and can't even wrap a seat belt around their girth. Twenty-one percent of West Virginians are obese compared to the national average of 17 percent. Oof.

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

The Kids in the Hall are going back out on tour, including an April 14th show at the Beacon Theater in New York. Who's comin with me?

Monday, February 18, 2002

I wish my friends and I had been enterprising enough when we were 17 to run our own speakeasy.
With a fully stocked wet bar, a stereo sound system, couches, gambling tables, and even Ping-Pong, the Upper Uwchlan (PA) watering hole proved to be an attractive draw.

I can't believe it. I'm going to die because I get too much sleep. I thought that eight hours was the perfect amount, but a study from the Archives of General Psychiatry says otherwise: people who sleep 6 or 7 hours a night live longer than people like me who get the "recommended" 8. The study does not say why sleeping too long can kill me, but it does say that getting too little sleep is much more dangerous than too much.

Thursday, February 14, 2002

Severed body part found near a car wash vacuum; local police captain responds that this is the first time a severed penis has been found in Hastings, Nebraska. Only the first???

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

A 15-year old Missouri boy was shot in the chest by his 17-year old brother because of a spat over a Nintendo game. Good reporting here by the Eastern Jackson County Examiner, but why don't they tell us what game the young punks were playing? I could understand the shooting if it were one of them fightin games that anger up the blood like Mortal Kombat, but if they were playing Excitebike, well then the shooting is just inexcusable.

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Petereson Tuners have bult a pipe organ made with beer I guess that makes it a bottle organ. The instrument actually plays music by blowing air over the tops of real beer bottles. Be sure to check out the MP3 samples.

Monday, February 11, 2002

As you may or may not have noticed, I have once again changed the banner, as is my want every month or so. Most of the banners in the past have been based on photographs that I have taken, but some of them have not, including the current one. Let the criticism begin!

Sunday, February 10, 2002

My favorite action hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has regained his perch atop the US box office for the first time in five years, though the movie, Collateral Damage, didn't even make as much in its first weekend as Arnold's 1999 movie, End of Days (which, incidentally, sucked), did.

Thursday, February 07, 2002

I heard Jonathan Silverman on the radio today. He recalled where he was when Kirk Gibson hit his famous Game One home run in the 1988 World Series. Silverman was in lovely Bald Head Island, North Carolina, in the midst of filming my favorite movie of all-time, Weekend at Bernie's. It was the scene where he is lying on the beach in flagrante delicto with lovely Catherine Mary Stewart, and his dead boss Bernie washes ashore right next to the two young lovers. Silverman says that in between takes, he watched the famous home run on his tiny portable television that he kept in his shirt pocket. Imagine that! One of the most famous homers in baseball history colliding with one of the most famous scenes in movie history! OK, so maybe it's a very memorable scene for just me.

Hey teachers! Got an unruly kid in your elementary school class? Then bring in a policewoman for show-and-tell. Have her pass her gun around so all the children can see it. And then BOOM! No more unruly kid!

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

A Pennsylvania school district pays big bucks for a dog who sniffs out Sudafed, Aleve, and other OTC medications from high-schoolers' lockers. You used to be able to have lots of fun with drug-sniffing dogs, like in the movie PCU, where Jeremy Piven's character tells of the time his buddy filled his suitcase with dog biscuits on a return trip from Jamaica. Nowadays, those dogs are sniffing out bombs. And you're not supposed to joke around with that kind of stuff, like in the movie Meet the Parents. Thankfully, for any of life's complicated situations, there exists a movie to explain said situation in full.

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

An Ohio couple gave birth to their second Super Bowl baby on Sunday; their first child was born on Super Bowl Sunday in 1997. Says the dad, "We don't plan this. It's divine intervention." Right. I hope he remembers saying that this coming April.

Monday, February 04, 2002

My favorite commercial (RealVideo) from last night's Super Bowl of American Football...actually, the only commercial worth remembering. I'm doin' fiiiine!

Sunday, February 03, 2002

Congratulations to Ron for winning the 1st Annual Iracane.Com Super Bowl Pick-Em Contest. He correctly picked 14 out of the 19 questions. (the 12th question was nullified: neither team challenged.) Ron beat me on the tiebreaker. Congratulations also go to that unnamed someone who got only 6 questions correct. (yeah, you, cousin)

A total of twelve people (myself included) have entered the 1st Annual Iracane.Com Super Bowl Pick-Em Contest. Inspired by Vince the Spreadsheet Master, I've created a little table that shows everybody's picks. Good luck, and go you Rams!

Friday, February 01, 2002

So far, we've got six entries for the 1st Annual Iracane.Com Super Bowl Pick-Em Contest. There's still time to enter, though: the deadline is Saturday at midnight. (acquire entry form)