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Current Terror Level:
Thursday, January 31, 2002

From the people who brought you Cinnamon Challenge 2001 comes Horseradish Challenge One and Horseradish Challenge Two. Even someone as perverse as me is disgusted by these goings-on.

Kids, if you're going to have relations with a goat, try to keep it in the bedroom.

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

The entry form for the 1st Annual Iracane.Com Super Bowl Pick-Em Contest is now online. It's a Microsoft Word document. If you have trouble opening it, just drop me a line and I'll email you the plain text version. Remember, y'all gotta mail it back to me by midnight on Saturday to be eligible for the prize.

Monday, January 28, 2002

My new favorite way to tell time is via people. Times are still available on the digital clock if you want to submit your own.

So far, my two aces Derik and Big Daddy Grenks have expressed interest in the 1st Annual Iracane.Com Super Bowl Pick-Em Contest...what about the other nine readers of this website???

Director Michel Gondry found a new way to use Lego and he created this video for the White Stripes' song "Fell in Love with a Girl". Check out the album, White Blood Cells, the most recent CD I purchased.

Sunday, January 27, 2002

The Super Bowl matchup features the Rams and the Patriots, but the real exciting matchup will be the 1st Annual Iracane.Com Super Bowl Pick-Em Contest. It's free to enter, and the winner will get a $5 gift certificate. There will be twenty 'pick-ems' such as "First Team to Score" and "Direction of Kick-off on TV Screen." Best score out of twenty wins. If you want an entry form, send me an e-mail or hit me up on the instant messenger. Forms due back to me by Saturday midnight.

Friday, January 25, 2002

Congratulations to Lisa Lynn Voss and Jimmy Lee Hancock: the first couple ever to get married in a Wal-Mart...err, a southwest Virginia Wal-Mart, that is. I guess some other rednecks beat them to it. (Thanks, Vince, for the link)

Joseph Hall of Newton, Mass was brought into custody for drunkenness by the local police, and arrested for an outstanding warrant. He was searched and thrown into jail, but he brought some contraband with him.

Thursday, January 24, 2002

To everyone who wished me a happy birthday today, I thank you. Sorry I haven't been available via telephone or's been a rough day.

Twenty-seven and three-quarters hours later, I'm still wide awake. Not even a terrible Robin Williams movie on HBO can put me to sleep. How much longer can I go?

Twenty-two hours and counting...did somebody slip some speed into my drink tonight?

OK, it's 3 AM and I've got the worst case of insomnia I've ever had. I woke up at seven yesterday morning, which means that I've been awake for 20 hours now and I have yet to feel tired all day and all night. This is very unusual for a person who typically gets seven and a half hours of sleep per night. On a brighter note, today is my birthday. Let's look back at all the things that have happened since I was born:
  • the eighties
  • the nineties
Wow! So many wonderful events!

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

Frequent visitor Tom Niemas sends in this wacky news item about a American woman returning home from Scandanavia on a SAS-operated Boeing 767 who got stuck in a very uncomfortable position. Thanks, Tom!

Monday, January 21, 2002

The crush of fans seeking tickets for the Price is Right's 30th anniversary show at the Rio hotel and casino in Las Vegas caused a minor head injury.

Friday, January 18, 2002

Update on guy eaten by pet lizards: one of the possible causes of death is infection from a lizard bite. There has never been a recorded human death from attack by a monitor lizard; in this situation, I wonder if the lizards will be held accountable for the death.

Update on frequent-movie-goers club: according to Dave "Big Daddy" Grenker, Ken also joined the club and when he got his first piece of mail, it was addressed to Ken 7. Griggs. Does that fact make the situation more or less peculiar?

Thursday, January 17, 2002

Delaware man partially consumed by pet monitor lizards. Now that is the kind of gruesome death that you can laugh at. Sort of.

Wednesday, January 16, 2002

Here's a quickie before my next class...the mistake mentioned in this article seems to be unintentional, having come out of South Florida.

Today is the 24th birthday of two of my closest friends: Darren "Yanen Seven" Weissman and W. Kenneth Griggs. Ken works as a programmer for Merck in the outer pasturelands of New Jersey and Darren is a medical student somewhere in the industrial heartland of New Jersey. Please join me in wishing both of them a joyous birthday.

Perhaps you are wondering why Darren's nickname is 'Yanen Seven'. Back in the good old days, when we were just kids, he joined a frequent-movie-goers club at one of our fine New Jersey theater chains...I believe it was the AMC in Rockaway. The name that he used when he signed up was 'Darren C. Weissman' because, well, that's his name. But when he received his first piece of mail from the club, it was addressed to 'Yanen 7. Weissman'. The 'Yanen' part is somewhat understandable, because Darren did have poor handwriting skills. But who are these people who misinterpreted the middle initial 'C' as a '7'? Did they think that is a viable middle initial?

Speaking of initials, the 'W' in 'W. Kenneth Griggs' does not stand for 'Weather Boy', though there may be some evidence to the contrary. (It stands for William, hence his nickname in high school French class, Guillaume. Together, we were Robert Guillaume. Yeah, Benson.)

Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Thanks, Big Daddy Grenks. It was "Baseball in November?". Funny how quickly the mind forgets!

Monday, January 14, 2002

So here's a list of the responses I got regarding my plea to help me fill in the blanks in the titles list:
  • pretty sure it was "april showers" and i'm not sure which one, but one of the months was "in our hearts."
Thanks, Vince. Though for some reason, both of these titles sound unfamiliar to me.

A New Zealand man dressed up as Osama Bin Laden for costume party and got a good old-fashioned beating. Says one of his attackers:
"You have to be a real dick to want to look like Osama bin Laden. He got what he deserved."

Sunday, January 13, 2002

Last night at my favorite sushi restaurant (in Lake Hiawatha, believe it or not) my friend Noel and I ordered 'chef's choice'. We were served many wonderful courses of rolls and sashimi and were surprised with a final course of what turned out to be barbeque yellowtail jaw served with a soy glaze. Wow! It was delicious! This menu from a Phoenix area sushi restaurant has a small picture of Hamachi Kama.

Friday, January 11, 2002

Google News Headlines collects different news-sources' versions of the same story and neatly organizes them into a simple page.

Thursday, January 10, 2002

Most times when I update the design of, I republish the archives. Unfortunately, this removes any difference between old and new designs. Alas, I never wrote down all the catchy subtitles from each month (eg "november reign" from November 2000 or "may-tastic!" from May 2001). If anyone remembers any of these subtitles that I missed on my list, please let me know.

I was just telling my good friend Vince that the kid in the Dell commercials is going to be a big star someday...yeah right...more like a big PORN star.
But he worries about being typecast. "I have been training in theater for years not to be typecast as a surfer dude," he says.
Who does he think he is, anyway?

Wednesday, January 09, 2002

Only in Kentucky would someone shoot himself while practicing his quick-draw on a snowman.

Tuesday, January 08, 2002

Regis just told me that Wendy's founder and pitchman Dave Thomas died. What a sad day!

Sunday, January 06, 2002

If you thought the kick-ups game was awfully simplistic yet strangely addictive, just wait until you try Slime Volleyball. (thanks, matt)

Two movies released in 2000 that I saw in 2001 and forgot to put on my top 12 list:Two movies that must be removed from this list to preserve counting principles:

Saturday, January 05, 2002

Hello from Charlottesville, Virginia. Over a year and a half since I left, some things have changed, but some things remain the same. For example, Littlejohn's still serves the Nuclear Sub (turkey, beef barbeque, cole slaw, muenster cheese, and Texas Pete hot sauce on a sub roll) but nowadays the little Asian woman who makes it goes heavy on the hot sauce. Sloppy! Bodo's still makes the best bagel outside of New York City (sorry, New Jersey) and the new wings place at the Amtrak station makes some fantastic wing sauces. All in all, I am eating my way through Charlottesville this weekend. What's an extra five pounds anyway?

Wednesday, January 02, 2002

After I posted yesterday about how few movies I saw in 2001, I decided to sit down and see if I really saw less than 10 movies last year. In the theaters, I saw exactly three.
  • The Mexican Brad Pitt made it watchable. Otherwise, nothing to write home about.
  • Made Excellent flick. We went to an artsy-fartsy theater in Philadelphia to see it.
  • Serendipity Great date movie. I saw it with my mom.
Okay, so surely I saw 7 more on video. Yes, but I'm embarassed to admit I saw some of them. Keep in mind, I still haven't seen Titanic. Ninety minutes is generally my attention span for a movie.
  • Coyote Ugly I watched this the day I got laid off back in March. I thought I'd spend the whole month watching movies on Pay-Per-View, but I didn't.
  • 3,000 Miles to Graceland Have you seen Reindeer Games? Then you've seen this one.
  • Dude, Where's My Car Hey, I was unemployed all summer, what was I supposed to watch?!
  • The Ladies Man I know, there's no excuse for this one. Does it help that I didn't even watch it all the way through?
  • Bridget Jones' Diary Read the book, it was better.
  • Legally Blond See below for my comments.
  • Freddy Got Fingered I watched the first half of this movie more times than I can count. Yes, I liked it. Daddy would you like some sausage?
So there it is. I can't even do a top ten list. I ONLY SAW ten movies in 2001! Coming tomorrow - my favorite TV shows of 2001! Added 10:36 pm - Oops, I saw another movie! I forgot about one of the best movies I saw all year because it came out in 2000. State and Main! Great, great movie, I love Sarah Jessica Parker and Philip Seymour Hoffman. This movie also has the BEST line from any movie, (including Freddy Got Fingered!) "It's the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?"

Lake Superior State University's list of mis-, mal-, or over-used words sends a chill up my spine. I am such a nitpicker when it comes to grammar abuse!

Note to self: New Year's Eve + Alcohol + Roof of a five story building = bad news. Ouch.

Tuesday, January 01, 2002

I just want to make it clear that I really enjoyed Legally Blonde. In fact, I think it makes my Top Ten movies for 2001. Okay, so it was one of only 10 movies I saw in 2001. The other nine being Freddy Got Fingered.

Here's my Top Twelve movies of the year, in no particular order:Oh...I guess that was a particular order after all...alphabetical and whatnot.

Happy New Year to all my wonderful friends and family. I hope that your 2002 is as promising as mine is shaping up to be!