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Current Terror Level:
Wednesday, January 31, 2001

Fans at the Super Bowl in Tampa were scanned for criminal checks. This is both remarkably cool and disturbing at the same time. You think that you can disappear into a crowd? Not anymore.

The length that the news media will go to get a "one-of-a-kind" interview is appaling. Read this letter that Katie Couric wrote to the Unabomber and then read the other correspondence between selected media scum and Ted Kaczynski archived at The Smoking Gun, a treasure trove of confidential documents obtained through the United States' Freedom of Information Act.

Tuesday, January 30, 2001

Have you heard about the new paper currency denomination that the United States Treasury has introduced? You haven't? Too busy collecting those 50 state quarters? Loser.

Friday, January 26, 2001

Sometimes, in life, you can win something and still end up a big loser. Remember, you don't have to drink to have a good time.

Wednesday, January 24, 2001

Happy Birthday, Rob!

Well, it's my 23rd birthday. Let me reflect on my 23 years........there, I'm done. I had a chicken sandwich with swiss cheese for lunch today. I can actually hear myself getting fatter. Such is life. Here's another story about someone trying to commit vehicular homicide.

Tuesday, January 23, 2001

I don't like children. I'll admit it. But I will stop short of being amused by what this guy did.

Saturday, January 20, 2001

If you can get through steps 17 and 18, you'll be able to build the best paper airplane in the world.

Thursday, January 18, 2001

Comedy Central has brought us so many wonderful programs in the past, from "South Park" to "Win Ben Stein's Money" to the new "TV Funhouse" featuring crude animal puppets, one of my favorite sources of humor. At the recent Television Critics' Association press tour, the network announced two new shows to debut in September, one starring Jiminy Glick, a character created by Martin Short from his short-lived daytime talk show, and another starring the Murray brothers. I used to watch the Martin Short Show regularly, as terrible as it was; it's like the old train wreck cliché. Jiminy Glick was definitely a highlight, possibly the only highlight, of the show.

Wednesday, January 17, 2001

Once in a generation, an invention comes along that revolutionizes the way mankind lives, that utterly improves one's daily life exponentially, and that changes the way people interact with one another. This is one of those inventions.

Friday, January 12, 2001

Here's an archive of Captain Justice and the Bear, one of the greatest comic strips ever to appear in the University of Virginia's student-run newspaper, the Cavalier Daily.

Wednesday, January 10, 2001

Somehow, this foreboding photo makes me think twice about those XFL season tickets I bought.

I do believe that the British have found a punchline for that age-old question, "How many dirty brits does it take to change a 70-year-old lightbulb?"

Monday, January 08, 2001

Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for "crisis" and "opportunity"? I believe that the word is "crisi-tunity".

Saturday, January 06, 2001

KPANTZ SIGHTING! Dateline: Lake Hiawatha's very own Sushi and Roll/Fuji Restaurant. Saw Kpantz with Mrs. Kpantz and Kpantz Jr. but not Little Kpantz.

Friday, January 05, 2001

Next Wednesday at 10 PM, MTV will blackout for almost 18 hours to raise awareness of hate crimes. This is a great step for the anti-hate crime movement, but God forbid the advertisers miss any precious minutes of Total Request Live. I must question any attempt at social responsibility by CBS/Viacom or any of its subsidiaries. The corporate strategists at MTV must realize that to really make a difference in the way people think, they can't just take an 18-hour chunk of non-prime-time and say, "Hey! Hate crimes are bad!" Make a consistent effort, for Christ's sake.

Wednesday, January 03, 2001

Wanna know where you can find the Iracanes? (Well, Michelle at least.) Check out her social calendar!

Tuesday, January 02, 2001

What are people saying about " rocks!" Lisa from Succasuna "Is that a cat or a saber tooth tiger you're holding?!" Dave from Rockaway

The best New Year's Eve celebrations weren't in Times Square or Las Vegas, where I was. Rather, they were in places like Mount Olive, NC or Key West, FL.